[AND I REQUEST A REFUND]
It's official now. I'm not the biggest fan of supernatural phenomenas but now I believe in everything in this world needs to co-exist with the opposite counter part.

I am VERY lucky to be blessed and gifted with creativity and able to come up with may-be-unpractical but new ideas. Especially fictional stories. I don't think I'm the best, but I am confident I can make up pretty entertaining stories and I'm proud of it. Except everything good comes with everything bad and my "bad" payment for this is that I CAN'T CREATE ANY STORIES WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER BEING MY FAVORITE CHARACTER.

What about Verardi Famiglia you say? Well I don't DISLIKE Vincenzo Verardi the 4th... but he is definitely NOT my favorite at ALL. He's fun to draw and a cool character to lead the story with but I had to give him some time to grow on me. I used to pretty much dislike him (not as much as Val) when I first started writing VF. For me, Verardi the 3rd is HANDS DOWN my most favorite character. Other favorites are Raniero, and Cecilio... and the hacker and the chef I've never mentioned before. NONE OF THEM works as the main character nor main character worthy!

[UPDATES AND SOME MORE ANGST]
I was complaining about the whole favorite character things because of the comic I'm working on for Morning International Manga Competition. I was totally going to keep my old rough draft from a year ago but of course I just had to let my beta readers read it. The one opinion that stood out was "the main character didn't make sense". Meaning that the main character was unbelievable and unrealistic because he really didn't have much reason to believe in Doppelgängers other than peer pressure? Even then we was believed in them too much and reacted TOO extremely for his situation. I re-wrote the story like TWICE to make sure he had a reason and then I got stuck multiple times before I realized the freakin main character just didn't work! His personality, his life, and how he thinks prevents the story from being good in every sense.


Unfortunately I liked this character... a LOT. Personality wise, looks wise, pretty much everything about the original main character was likeable for me. He was definitely a cool guy to hang out and optimistic enough but not too much for him to be bubbly happy. But obviously those kind of people are VERY hard to convince that something like Doppelgängers even exist and it takes much more pages and unnecessary dialogs and monologues which makes the climax hasty and rushed.


To fix this I finally scrapped the original character idea and made a completely different guy to be in his spot... someone who can't be content with what he has already, ambitious to be accepted and succeed but in massive stress because everything he does seem to go the wrong way for him, and emotionally unstable because he's an extremist. Or putting it simply someone that I would go up to and say "get some balls" and kick him in the groins. But it ANNOYS me because he's so much more prone to cause what it should happen in the storyline, and makes so much sense for him to take extreme actions! Also because of this new character it made the story so much more creepier than it did before and rightfully placed "You're Not Alone" in the horror/mystery category like it should be. DAMN!!

I think the only story I have with the main character being my favorite character is "Absolute Eschatology" and "Acid Rain". Actually scratch out "Acid Rain" because I don't really care for the main character and she's my favorite just because there's no likeable character in the story other than her. Zii-Lei from "Absolute Eschatology" is a beautiful character though :D He is so messed up but something about him is so loveable and motivated to do things right without being arrogant or crazy LOVE that kid.

ANYWAYZ. I made sure the new character design slightly resembles the original and he appears in the comic as a cameo so hopefully in the future he can have a major role in something else. Until the time, so long!

[DEATH OF MY BEST FRIEND]
NOT a person.
It's my mechanical pencil I think I told people about... the one I used it all through high school 'til now. That pencil was amazing... STAEDTLER Professional Technical Graphing mechanical pencil 0.3mm at least 3 to 4 model generations older than what they currently make. I think I bought it RIGHT before they cancelled it too. I consider my self being pretty un-nostalgic but to think MOST of my drawings I kept and have in my portfolio were sketched/drawn with this pencil and even worse, to look back at all my original VF pages were drawn with it... I truly think it has part of my soul embedded in it.

But now it's beyond repairable since the spring that makes the lead come out is either rusted or too old and the metal clasp to hold the lead in place is so loose it either breaks the lead or slips while I'm drawing. It wouldn't be THAT much of a trouble if I use a harder 0.3 lead but since my favorite is the freakin 2B 0.3 lead any kind of mechanical flaws would snap the lead instantly. Also that thing has so much pieces missing it's funny. So it joined my other mechanical pencil I used all through middle school which I drew the oldest illustration in my portfolio with which I BIT THE HELL OUT OF and made the weight balance went totally screwy and I couldn't draw with anymore. Now I'm using a Pentel pencil, my back-up pencil until I find another one that suits me. The pentel one is the closest fit to my hands except the balance is a tad bit off and it's too light weight for my liking. Although the thickness is helping my fingers with the grip.

Since I'm working on this contest and seriously looking into being a professional comic/manga artist I guess it's a good timing for me to move on to the next step... and I'm TRYING to accept this change as a symbol for the next big challenge but it's really really REALLY hard for me to adjust the tool I've been using EVERY day for over 8 years now. I'll miss it.

[HERE'S MY ABSENCE NOTICE, TEACHER]
With forged signature and without a doctor's note.

I'm forced to stop updating until I'm done with "You're Not Alone". I'd love to keep on posting but life is already forcing me to not work on it at least 3 days every week so I really need to spend the rest in drawing the pages so I can send it off asap. I wish I don't have to... but people just can't accept me working on art and refuse to understand my passion and love to be obsessed with what I dedicate my life to.

Thinking back, my life is all about other people preventing me from drawing <__<;;;
But the stress caused by that struggle has produced MANY good stories since the stories are all my escape routes from reality so like I said earlier; everything that exists needs to have it's opposite counterpart. 
Hopefully if I succeed in my art career enough people will WANT me to draw as much as possible and that would be THE BEST thing that could happen to me. 

I'll be back around mid December so I'll see you all then!

[SNEAK PEEK AT THE UPCOMING WEB COMIC]
Little commercial break :D
For those who don't know yet, I'm currently in the process of producing a new web comic series called "SOUP". I'm still looking for a publisher and what not to get a printed comic book series so mostly I'm doing this to kill time while I get to practice sequential arts. The real reason is to distract me from working on Verardi. Seriously! I let my self draw several illustrations of Vince, and I've been just itching, jumping-around-the-padded-room CRAZY to work on VF. Also one of my best memories of High School IS when i was working on VF, or more on a web comic so... yea just sratch out the first reasoning. I just work on a web comic.



Since I'm not expecting this to be published in any way shape or form out of the web form, I'm making this the most disturbing, mixed message, mixed emotion and heart twisting roller coaster ride in comic page form. Genre is mostly likely to be "brain fuck" since I'm planning on raping people's sense of reality like none other. Ok, I'm exaggerating a bit there ^^; but you can expect to be weirded out at least a bit. Somewhat horror, somewhat social commentary, I HOPE I can entertain those who are looking for something unusual. Sorry no teenage vampires (I just lost a whole chunk of audiences there didn't I)

The story is simple; this kind lady, Amelia, hosts a dinner on Mondays for a bowl of soup. The guests "talk" about their troubles and worries, fears, love, and life and Amelia shall show them the way to "fix" their issues. Sounds very happy peaceful doesn't it >D

It'll be on the web starting Monday, January 8th. 2 pages per week every Monday. Black and white, western standard pages (left to right). I'll post more updates as time closes in!

[BIRTHDAY WISHEZ]
To Meagan, Beth and Kitala.
Sorry I bunched up all of your birthday wishez into this small bunch, but I'm glad you can make it this far and I wish you the greatest luck you can make it until your next birthday...

Ok seriously self, from now on just say HAPPY BIRTHDAY and nothing else!! Your birthday wishes make people depressed, it's cynical and just plain WRONG for a happy day. D<

But honest to goodness I AM happy for you all!

[I WAS DOING SO WELL]
I knew sometime soon I was going to slack off on my schedule and I did so today -__-
My excuse this time is that I didn't really know what to write about after what happened last post and even worse I got a disappointing reply back from said friend who was supporting it and the original personnel who sent me the boycott message in the first place. Apparently I wasn't supposed to "openly" post this matter so my method of sharing my ideas out pissed him off, so I had to deal with that and it's just... I PERSONALLY think there is MUCH more, important, serious issues out there that must be discussed and be pissed at than what can a historical parody can do so I'm dropping this whole discussion.

To those who love APH, LOVE IT, LOVE ON, LOVE IT GOOD.

To those who dislike APH, leave the people who love APH alone. I'm sure someone out there thinks what you like sucks too. Nothing is appreciated by everyone, it's how the world works, try enjoying life.

[MORE EXCUSES!]
I was working on sketches of Verardi Famiglia. DON'T BE EXCITED! I'm not even CLOSE to presenting it to the public, and I was only jotting down ideas that I didn't want to lose, and it was easier for me to just work on the page-layout form and...yeaaaaaa I spent like 4 hours on it ^^; God I LOVE working on Verardi!!! I sketched out the short flash back scene explaining why Vince has that band-aid on his right eyebrow; which I'm sure a lot of you are dieing to know. I even half-assedly started on re-drawing chapter 0 that was online and it felt GREAT to see obvious improvements on my works. So midnight came and went working on something I won't be working on for a while. I'm planning on finishing the birth day pic for Kitala on Dev Art later today and hope to get a good chunk of the art trade I'm doing with Christy (artist and writer of RE:PLAY... I'm drawing her original characters and she's going to draw OMFG VINCE for me. Totally flippin EXCITED) done by the end of the day. After that should make time for me on Thursday to finish up "You're Not Alone" page layouts so I can have it beta tested before seriously working on the manga contest. Since I'm starting the pages TWO WHOLE MONTHS early I am ready for ANY obstacles the world might throw at me like last time! Bring it on!!

OH and my mother won't be around until the 9th of November so that allows me to really concentrate on the early stages which is AMAZING. Oh talking about my mother:

[BURN BABY BURN]


It was amusing. You really can't go against your core DNA blue prints can you?
By the way my grand father is even more of a pyromaniac than my mother. I'm the explosive pyro, he's the loves-to-handle-with-flames pyro who burns his own flammable garbages even if it's strictly forbidden to do so. Apparently controlling the fires like it's a wild animal and taming it is the fun part to him. I laugh at them for calling ME crazy... I wonder where I got them from.

[MAIN TITLE IS A BIT MISLEADING]
Beware. Happy 13th!

[ORGANIZATION AND CLARIFICATION]
If anyone bothers to look on the tag list I have, I changed around things quite a bit. The reason for the sudden organizing is that I want to finally get into... routine. I think it'll help me with my future and I read a very insightful article on Behance Network about organization and how creativity driven people can use it for their benefit. I updated my profile too, for a constant notice but from now on:

"Records of World Damnation"
Sires Black's Online Journal

UPDATED EVERY TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS
with random rants, findings, essays, personal reviews, comics and pieces of her life
all while trying to take over the world!

So I made sure the tags are all understandable and useful for a long time. If you find ANYTHING you want this grammar-stupid to write about, read more of, or interesting/funny things you find online, comment or message me ANY time. Thursdays are my reply to comments and message days so if you don't get a reply real soon the chances are I read them and waiting until the last minute to reply. I love reading comments so please do so without hesitation!

[VF STYLE vs DEMO STYLE]
Yes I finally named two of my main styles. FINALLY. From now on I'll reference them as these. Since today is a GREAT day to start my articles(?) I decided to cover a pretty essential part of my art career. I think I'm one of the rare artists to have two different styles used both at the same time (not including realistic) and used very randomly so I wanted to just rant about it here.

VF STYLE is taken from the title "Verardi Famiglia" since this style was first used and only used whithin this web comic. It eventually went beyond it's borders and finally became my default style. I was going to put a better title but I found out it was too late. Heavily influenced by Jamie Hewlett's "Gorillaz" style and Tim Burton characters, the eyes are colored pitch black or white. Without the distraction of the eyes, the expressions are purely dependant on how I express the images with facial movements, angles and colors. ( continue reading... )

[THE SEPARATE ENTITIES]
My good friend mentioned a good point; why not keeping a style and sticking to one?
I've been contemplating that ever since VF style was in effective. Hell I was even planning on not using the style out side of "Verardi Famiglia". It really does make my art unstable in it's own way and I won't have a set trade mark.
But I realized, both styles represents my self. If you don't know me in person you'd be amused how much fun I have with just arguing with my self and debate about things. I have two pretty polar opposite "sides" that likes different things. So embracing both styles is like embracing my self as it is. So I have finally made the decision to trash the possibility of picking one style to stick with. Also it CAN be a benefit to have different styles. Now, it's up to me to choose wisely which to use when. The hardest part!

[SO WHAT KIND OF EXCUSES DO YOU HAVE THIS TIME EH?]
Stop talking to me subject title.

Anywayz I am finally back after... a bit over three months? of my absence. In internet time I should be dead by now but here I am, hoping to be back into business with updates and hope to start posting regularly once again! But since I'm covering three whole months of full of holes, a lot of the entry's will be under LJ-cut. For reader's convenience (aren't I NICE?!) I ended up summarizing a bit for each section so if you'd like to read something that sparks your interest, I am more than honored :D

↑ OLDEST NEWS · NEWST NEWS ↓

[ESCAPE TO THE WILDERNESS]
With more people than I usually see every day! The irony! I enjoyed the little vacation beside a pretty lake. Sadly I was more excited to find a new show on DVD to watch... can't I get away from media for even a sec?!
( READ MORE>> )

[ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE, AND LUCK COULD NEVER BE THIS SHITTY]
No. I know people have a LOT shittier luck than I do. But in MY world, when nature and coincidences tries so hard for me to not enter this animation contest was fascinating. Fascinatingly HORRIBLE.
( READ MORE>> )

[PUBLISHER ISSUES ARE ALWAYS A DRAG WHEN TRYING TO GET A BOOK OUT]
So "The Odd One Out" is getting it's due date pushed back again and this time I'm just self publishing. Why the sudden change? What's my future plans?
( READ MORE>> )

[BRAND NEW HEADER]
This is I think THE most useless bit of news on this entry. If you've seen my journal layout there's a big traffic billboard size customizable header and since summer is kinda over in my head I'm all ready for AUTUMN BABY!! So I know it's a tad too early but here's a Halloween image for the season. Stores already had f-ing CHRISTMAS things up on shelves months ago... I'd say I'm late.


Click to enlarge. Maybe, maybe... *sniff*
But see? I am too happy to go on about gloomy topics. It'll give me more things to write in the future LOL. I'm just happy to be back :D
BTW I had no idea what I should do on the 4th panel. So have some Vince. 

[AT LEAST I WILL TRY WITH ALL MY MIGHT]
Ok, I KNOW it's one of my worst habits to chicken out from contests. I LOVE competition, but something about being official and having prizes just squeeze every drop of coward out of me and forces me to procrastinate to no end, and ending up me not making on the deadline (I'm sure you're all familiar with me not finishing it by the due date) and it's horrible. I could go through an entire haunted house without jumping but I'll curl up my tail and run away from contests, squeaking, from contests that I have great potential winning. It's as freaky as Public Service Announcements and kids. But contests are better. PSA and kids are just coldheartedly horrifying.

BUT there's an animation contest at Aniboom and FOX is backing it up so there's a potential of winning $15K max and boy do I want the prize! Also I've been itching to do animation for a while but commissions/site/comic was preventing me from doing so. I was thinking about doing a Vocaloid music video for Luka's yandere song for my beautiful niconico debut appearance but really anything I can make it move is all awesome! Also the guy who's working with me on the comics and publishing it is entering this too so he gave me approval for postponing The Odd One Out so the universe and the galaxies really want me to work on it! No doubt! And since and since I'll be doing all the character designs, music, sound effects AND the animation I'll be putting almost all of my time on it, or I WISH I can. I know my mom or my boyfriend will find a way to rip me off of my chair and it'll sadden me greatly... or I might compose elsewhere since all I need is Salvatore and a working cursor and headphones... hmmmmmmmmmmm. Plus I still need to find a good deal on voice actors, since I can't pay well and I will be DAMN FUCKING GREEDY with my contest money IF I do win cause I seriously want health insurance.

That'll be the reason I'll be cutting off my internet time. If you don't hear from me, just remember; I'm pouring every sweat, blood, and all other bodily fluids into this project (sorry for the disturbing imagery) but I shall guarantee a great outcome. Plus if I'm not working on the animation I need to work on the Hetalia Fan Book so yea. Wish me luck! Sorry my comic books just pushed yet again!

[VACATION OR JUST WORKING OUTSIDE TOWN]
By the way I'm going on a 1~2 week vacation up north. So expect absolute no updates from me while I'm gone to the abyss of no internet. GASP I KNOW! So I'll be working on sketches for... well... everything. Mainly finishing up the story board for the animation, and The Odd One Out rough. OH and I need to work on site layouts, commissions, fan book sketches so all I have to do is finish it up after the animation is over, making music etc etc... I'll be enjoying at least some break! So see you all in maybe in a week!!

[LJ AND TWITTER WATCHERS]
I am AMUSED how many people watch me. I seriously don't think I post anything too entertaining for viewers like you; but I am all happy and makes me smile in the inside. Thank you so much people! I shall try to entertain you all with my ability. Wait maybe you're all just interested in my artworks... I mean THAT makes more sense... with such ludicrously bad writing skill I have... *SNIFF* FINE! I SEE HOW IT IS! BE THAT WAY! *CRIES*

LOL sorry just just messin' with ya. I appreciate it greatly and hope I can keep in touch with you all!

[WORK UPDATES]
I'll be on a fan-art spree soon. I want to concentrate on my drawing skills than my ideas, and fan arts are perfect for those! It's really hard to come up with stories and settings, characters per illustration. I mean it's fun as hell when I'm not obsessed about style and skill. So just a heads-up before anyone suspects me that I have become a fan artists. I have very specific respect towards them, but I consider my self as a original artist. So I don't want to switch boundaries. But for now I need to finish several web designs before I can work on those so I'll post another warning around the time you forget about this entry.
Talking about sites, since the site's completely down I'm re-constructing a bit simpler version of the VF site. I know how far can you go with simplicity right? Well you'll see. I'm actually painting up a rather nice BG for it so I'd recommend looking forward for that!

[UPNORTH VACATION]
I'll be spending a vast majority of my online time this month up-north! For non-Michiganders, up north usually means lakes with cabin, fishing, swimming, and forests and woods until you can't see anything else. There I'll be forced to work off-line meaning I'll be working on MANY sketches and roughs for comic books! I'll be finishing up and getting The Odd One Out edited, so the beta-ing would be less distrated by bad grammar and spelling; and I will be working on Beheading Chickens, and You're Not Alone! The top priority ones at least for now. If I have time I'll definitely work on the pilot chapters of some stories I want to serialize and maybe I can send one to big named publishers and see if I have a chance with them... I'll be busy while I stare at beautiful nature. Or I might be distracted sketching or composing as well (I'll be bringing Alessandro with me) so you never know how much I'll be done. But I'll be done sketching The Odd One Out for SURE. I actually need to start sketching out web designs for the site too... DAMN I'll be busy! Also I might be staying there for only a week, or maybe as long as two weeks. It alldepends on how long I want to stay. Look at my user info! I'm NEVER set on schedule!